How You Handle Arguments Can Make or Break Your Relationship
In a relationship, it is normal for couples to argue. However, how the arguments are handled is important and also a delicate issue to be looked upon. Arguments are what helps a couple grow stronger but it can also tear a couple apart. The reasons for arguments are usually due to indifference and insensitivity. Females are more in touch with their inner emotions and they deal with people around them through how they feel around the person. Females hang around more with persons whom they feel comfortable and happy with. It is mostly how they feel with a person that judges the bond they form with another.
Males on the other hand are less emotional and less feeling type. They view feeling as a form of weakness and that if feelings are revealed, it shows a vulnerable spot for others to take advantage of. Since young, boys have been taught to be strong and to be protectors, rulers and hunters. These roles are viewed to be strong and powerful, feelings and emotions don't have their place in them. As a result, men are viewed to be arrogant when it comes to emotional problems and not as sensitive emotionally as woman are.
When a man and a woman come together, it can almost be related to a dog and cat analogy, where "you can't live with one another but you cannot live without each other." This is because when a man and woman live together, in general, the women might feel very disgusted at the way a man can live in such dirty environments while men feel like a female is intrusive in terms of cleanliness and does not like a woman to boss the way they live.
Arguments arrive due to indifference and insensitivity. Males are indifferent and insensitive to a woman's wants and needs, while woman are indifferent and insensitive to the ego that runs through the blood of a man. As a result, when an argument arises, both parties destroy one another. However, how arguments are dealt with is very subjective depending on how the personalities of the two persons are. Assuming the typical female and male, females tend to use generalized statements such as "you never...." Or "you always..." These words are accusations by nature and men will bring out their defense mechanisms to counter it by either shutting down or not listening or argue further. When a man decides to shut down, a woman gets even angrier at the situation and starts to bring up more accusations. This is where a man's insensitivity looks very bad to a woman while a man feels like his ego is being crushed because he is not doing a good job of being the man he thinks he is.
Therefore, when dealing with arguments, what makes or breaks an argument is the words we use to express ourselves. It is easy to just say things like we mean it. However, it is important to be conscious of how many things have various ways and methods of saying it and that how we change the situation around through the use of words is very powerful, especially since a lot of arguments can take place on the phone or via text message these days. Instead of a girl using "You never..." you could change it to say "I feel that it would be nice for you to..." which is a big difference because if you start the sentence with "you" directing it at the other party, it is accusation and that person will definitely become defensive because the words "you never" indicates that nothing has ever been done to improve and unless you feel that strongly for the action that you require be done, usage of words starting with "you" should be avoided.
Males on the other hand are less emotional and less feeling type. They view feeling as a form of weakness and that if feelings are revealed, it shows a vulnerable spot for others to take advantage of. Since young, boys have been taught to be strong and to be protectors, rulers and hunters. These roles are viewed to be strong and powerful, feelings and emotions don't have their place in them. As a result, men are viewed to be arrogant when it comes to emotional problems and not as sensitive emotionally as woman are.
When a man and a woman come together, it can almost be related to a dog and cat analogy, where "you can't live with one another but you cannot live without each other." This is because when a man and woman live together, in general, the women might feel very disgusted at the way a man can live in such dirty environments while men feel like a female is intrusive in terms of cleanliness and does not like a woman to boss the way they live.
Arguments arrive due to indifference and insensitivity. Males are indifferent and insensitive to a woman's wants and needs, while woman are indifferent and insensitive to the ego that runs through the blood of a man. As a result, when an argument arises, both parties destroy one another. However, how arguments are dealt with is very subjective depending on how the personalities of the two persons are. Assuming the typical female and male, females tend to use generalized statements such as "you never...." Or "you always..." These words are accusations by nature and men will bring out their defense mechanisms to counter it by either shutting down or not listening or argue further. When a man decides to shut down, a woman gets even angrier at the situation and starts to bring up more accusations. This is where a man's insensitivity looks very bad to a woman while a man feels like his ego is being crushed because he is not doing a good job of being the man he thinks he is.
Therefore, when dealing with arguments, what makes or breaks an argument is the words we use to express ourselves. It is easy to just say things like we mean it. However, it is important to be conscious of how many things have various ways and methods of saying it and that how we change the situation around through the use of words is very powerful, especially since a lot of arguments can take place on the phone or via text message these days. Instead of a girl using "You never..." you could change it to say "I feel that it would be nice for you to..." which is a big difference because if you start the sentence with "you" directing it at the other party, it is accusation and that person will definitely become defensive because the words "you never" indicates that nothing has ever been done to improve and unless you feel that strongly for the action that you require be done, usage of words starting with "you" should be avoided.
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